8 Weeks of Summer.

I am so excited for the summer. After graduation, I will only have 9 weeks until I leave for college in New York. I plan on making every single one of those days count. On June 5^th, I am flying alone to Seattle to stay with my step aunt (whom I’ve only met once) for a week. I am so excited for this because it will make for a great test-run before my flight to Utah/New York. Seattle looks so beautiful and has a huge food community, so it will make a perfect vacation for me. My aunt is bubbly and outgoing, so I am sure I will get along with her great. She is also a health-food nut, so I’m looking forward to cooking over there too. Once I get home, I plan on spending every single day with my friends. I will miss them so much while I’m in New York, and I want to spend the entire summer making more memories with them. Some of my friends I’ve known for over four years, but some I have only known for a year at most. Saying goodbye to those people seems unfair, but of course it is necessary. On a brighter note, a week before my enrollment date at the CIA, I am flying to Utah to stay with my best friend of 6 years, Shelbie. I haven’t seen her in ages, so I am beyond excited to be reunited with her and to meet her family.

David Chang is The Man.

            David Chang is my hero. For those who don’t recognize his name, he is the chef/owner behind the wildly successful Momofuku restaurants in New York (and now Toronto and Sydney). He was named GQ’s Man of the Year and won three coveted James Beard awards (which are basically the Oscars of the culinary world). He’s crass. He’s funny. He can COOK. What I love the most about him, however, is that for all the attention he’s received, he’s uncompromising. He cooks what he wants, how he wants, when he wants. He is doing it for himself, and his chefs. He wasn’t looking to get famous. I think that is absolutely honorable. I follow his career so closely because he accomplished everything that I wanted to do for myself. He dropped everything and moved to Japan to learn to make ramen. When he returned to New York, he started a restaurant with virtually no money. It seated 12 people, had no decorations, and blasted music at all hours. For the first few months, the food sucked. But he fought through it. He improved and people took notice. Now, there are lines from morning to night and it takes months to get a seat. It is regarded as one of the best restaurants in New York (which is no easy feat) yet manages not to be stuffy or serve “haute cuisine”. It is still just a noodle bar, serving high quality food without condescension. This is exactly what I want for my future restaurant. If I ever got called a David Chang ripoff, I will take it as a compliment.

Just Rambling.

Sometimes my age frustrates me. Being 17, there is a lot I’m eager to do with my life, but a lot that I can’t because I’m “too young”. I don’t mean drinking or smoking; I mean actual life goals. I want to be a chef in a restaurant. My dream is to work at one of David Chang’s restaurants, which are hiring right now. But I can’t. I’m just barely going to be a high school graduate. I still have 2-4 years of college to go through, plus externships/apprenticeships and lower-level jobs to build up my experience. And all of it is necessary. I can’t afford to skip any of these steps. I just wish I could have started them sooner, because I am so eager to get started that it hurts sometimes. I know how many opportunities I’m missing out on, and I can only sit around and hope that there will be more waiting for me when I am finally ready to take them. At least I know that when I am able to reach out and grab one of these amazing opportunities, I will be prepared. I will be armed with an education from the best culinary school in the country and plenty of work experience. I will have confidence in myself and my abilities and be less likely to screw things up in a professional kitchen. I’ll be able to make everyone proud of me. 

A Bit of Pointless Rambling.

I suffered my first ego-shattering loss during Spring Break. I competed in a regional speech competition that I qualified for by winning a district competition as a Junior, and I didn't place. I have never lost before.

I lost in front of my family and friends who came out to Glendale to support me.

The president of the ACSA told me that she felt I should have won, and I was complimented by several other members of the audience and ACSA staff. After the announcement was made, a few people went as far as to say that I was robbed.

In my mind, none of that matters. Losing is losing. I don't care what the reasoning behind it may be, because in my heart and mind, I will always believe that I lost because I wasn't good enough. I broke down into tears on the spot, and cried nonstop for the next few hours. Everyone was trying to cheer me up, saying that it didn't matter, but it mattered to me. This was my last competition as a high school student. My last chance to make my family and friends proud of me before I left for New York, and I failed right in front of everyone's eyes.

Its been a few days since then, and I still haven't gotten over it. I feel worthless for losing, and I feel pathetic for crying about it. I find myself thinking a million and one horrible thoughts about myself, and the more people try to cheer me up, the worse I feel. I failed; I don't deserve the encouragement and the praise.

And I know that this all sounds astoundingly selfish. I am blessed with friends who support me, and yet I can't honor them by accepting their help. I just don't feel worthy of it anymore.

The president of the ACSA said that they wanted to attempt to get me into contact with David Chang (the man who I wrote my speech about). When I first heard this, I was proud and (reasonably) excited. I knew that it would be a long shot. Once I found out that I lost, I realized that there was no chance. Why would he care about a losing speech?

There was so much riding on me winning at this competition, and I was too much of an idiot to realize it. By losing, I disappointed my Father, who sees me as his perfect daughter. I can consider that image shattered. I wasted my friends' time, because they spent their free time helping me rehearse, for nothing. I let down my school, who actually had a chance of mattering in the academic field. I dishonored David Chang, by writing a  pathetic speech about an amazing man.

I'm a disgrace.

My Return to Cooking: A Quick Dinner

Because of some trouble at home, I hadn't really cooked much in the past two weeks. Yesterday after cleaning I started thinking about it and felt inspired to cook. Cooking is my life, so losing my inspiration and drive to cook was really a signal to me that something was up. Tonight I returned to my kitchen and it felt like home. I made my first piece of blackened fish (courtesy of my cast iron pan I've been working on seasoning since November) and partnered it with red beans and rice and corn on the cob.

Raw tilapia, rubbed with olive oil and seasoned with cajun seasoning.

 Pre-flip.

Post-flip.

The finished product.

I didn't take a picture of the salad, but here is a quick lemon vinaigrette I made. Just olive oil, lemon juice and zest, crushed garlic, salt, and white pepper. Delicious!

First post! Homemade Gyoza

My current obsession is Asian cuisine, most notably Thai, Japanese, and Korean. I got a two-layer bamboo steamer for Christmas, and these Gyoza (more commonly known as potstickers) were the first thing I tried to make in it. The recipe ended up making more than 50, and my family of three had finished them before the end of the night. I would definitely consider that a success.

The ingredients, before prep. Clockwise from left to right: won ton wrappers, ground pork, spring onion (also known as scallion), soy sauce, ginger, garlic, and water chestnuts. 

Post-prep. From left to right: whites of the spring onion, garlic, green tops of the spring onion, ginger, and water chestnuts.

The filling, mixed and ready to go. In addition to the prepped ingredients, I seasoned it with salt, white pepper, and a splash of soy sauce. Very simple.

The first batch of potstickers, ready to be steamed. The process of filling them and pleating the edges took me awhile and was a bit messy, but it was definitely worth it.

Ready to be steamed, and then pan-fried in a 50/50 mixture of olive oil and butter.

The finished product, served with traditional-style Japanese sticky rice (I could write a post dedicated to the process of cooking sticky rice correctly, it was quite a learning experience for me) and a classic sauce used for Gyoza that is just a mixture of garlic, ginger, soy sauce, and rice wine vinegar.